An Extra Rude Way to Steal

extra rude way to steal
And who steals salad?

I saw this at the grocery store today. In case the picture isn’t clear enough, here’s what someone did. They filled up a container with food from the salad bar, walked through the store until they found a quiet spot, ate most of it, put down the mostly empty container, and left. I don’t know if they got full, didn’t like something they chose, or were on the verge of being found out (why else leave some of the food?), but this is so rude.

Stealing from people is bad enough. You’re taking money away from them. You’re hurting their business and their ability to provide for their families (if a store loses too much, it’s going to close). You might even be hurting employees – whoever’s responsibility it is to keep stealing from happening.

And on top of all of that, you’re going to make them clean up after you? Seriously? That’s no way to treat people.


The Cause of All My Biggest Mistakes

Always? I don’t know about that.

I had a who’s-more-successful competition with a friend today. Only, being women, we each argued that the other person was more successful. To win the argument, I started thinking of all the stupidest things I’ve ever done, and I realized that all my biggest mistakes were caused by lacking self-confidence.

It’s messing with me. For most of my life, I’ve had little-to-no self-confidence. In a lot of areas, anyway. And for most of those mistakes, I actually had a better choice. If I’d done what I thought was best, I wouldn’t have made those mistakes. But could I do that? No. I listened to other people over my own logic and instincts. Not as a kind of peer pressure – because I thought they must be right, and I must be wrong. Because I thought their opinions or ideas had to be better than mine. Because I didn’t have confidence in my own thoughts compared to theirs.

On second thought, maybe it’s more of an inferiority complex than a lack of confidence. Because it’s not that I don’t think my idea is right – it’s that I think someone else’s idea must be better or more right. Not everyone. But I know a lot of really smart, really talented people. And with some of them especially, I have a really hard time believing myself over them because I feel like they’re smarter than me.

I can make all the logical arguments I want about having talents or skills, but emotions don’t listen to logic, do they? It feels right to put their opinions above my own. To think I must be wrong because they disagree. It feels like I shouldn’t have any self-confidence because I don’t deserve to – I’m not as good at those things as other people are. They’re smarter than I am. They make better choices. They must be right, not me

And the saddest part is that I still feel that way. Even knowing that they were wrong. Even knowing that the option I thought of would’ve been better. In a situation where I think one thing, and they think another, I’ll end up going with what they say because I think they must be right. Because the idea that I could be right over them is boggling.

I’d like to blame it on societal brainwashing of women (who knows? it could be true), but there doesn’t seem to be any point right now. That doesn’t tell me how to fix it. It’s not like waving a magic wand: “Oh, you gave me a false impression of my own abilities. I actually can do stuff!” *ping self-confidence appears*. Yeah right.

Want to know the biggest reason I still question my own judgment?

It’s because as often as I was right, and the other people were wrong, I also know how often I end up being wrong (soooo often). Times when they were right. Just because my logic didn’t cause those major mistakes in the past doesn’t mean it won’t in the future. How am I supposed to know if I’m ignoring my better judgment because of self-confidence issues or if they’re right this time?

That’s what scares me most about this idea. As long as I can cast some doubt on my own judgment, I’ll have to pick theirs. I’m trained to pick theirs. So how do I change that? Should I even try to change that?

How self-confident do I need to be to avoid big mistakes? How self-confident do I need to be to cause more?

Skirt Interiors Are Not Public, Georgia Courts

This is ridiculous. No, it’s deplorable. What court decides that it’s legal to upskirt because the skirts are in a public place? Hello! Skirt interiors are not public when they’re being worn!

But, guess what? NBC news reports: “Court Says ‘Upskirting’ Is Legal in Georgia.” That’s right. The court ruled that if a woman was in a public place when the creeper stuck a phone under her skirt and snapped a picture, then that was totally legal. Is totally legal. What the hell.

The article claims that the court blamed the law’s vague wording on the ruling. Seriously, Georgia? What kind of law is worded to imply that it’s legal to take pictures of a woman’s skirt interior?(AKA her panties and/or private parts)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it illegal to expose your private parts and panties in public? So how is it possible for someone else to expose it for you?

Sound stupid? That’s because it is. But don’t worry! It can get stupider. Because the statesmen aren’t in session right now, the law isn’t going to be fixed any time soon. And until it does, a guy can come up, take a picture under a woman’s skirt, and face no legal charges. That’s right. As long as he doesn’t actually touch her, he’s in the clear. Let’s hope some douchebags don’t try to take advantage of it before the law gets fixed.

If they do, I’m hoping for three things 1. they get crowd-shamed and learn their lesson (I can dream), 2. girls who don’t want to risk it wear longer skirts or shorts (it makes sense as a precaution, but I don’t like it because they shouldn’t be punished because of asshat laws and douchebags), and 3. guys in drag start going commando (Can you imagine the douchebags’ expressions?).

Life Is Watching Everyone You Love Die

I struggle with this idea a lot. That life is watching everyone you love die. I can’t keep it out of my head. Ever since it occurred to me, it’s like a constant panic and depression lurking inside. A feeling of absolute helplessness or insecurity. Like ignorance and naivety were my shield, my security blanket, and now they’ve been ruthlessly stripped away so that safety and happiness feel like illusions. Like self-deception.

I didn’t use to think that way. Then, over the past few years, I lost more and more of the people I care about. Relatives, friends, and acquaintances. As a kid, I’d only lost one or two, and they were spaced out by years. Now, it was like Death had a monthly quota to fill, and only people I knew would do. People died of cancer and heart failure. They died of old age. They died in stupid, senseless accidents. And far too many of them died by choice.

I couldn’t deal with it. Can’t. Even now, sitting here writing this, my throat is closing up, and my eyes are filling. When deaths hit you one after the other, you don’t have time to adjust, to deal with the grief and anger. And after a while it hits you that this is your future: watching everyone you love die one after the other unless you’re lucky enough to go first.

That’s when the fear wraps around your heart. Any illusion of control disappears. There’s nothing to shield you from the helplessness any more, nothing to hold it at bay or defeat it because you know, without a doubt, that every single person you love is going to die and that no matter what you do, there’s no way to change that. Not one. Our future deaths are the only truly certain things in life.

As if that weren’t dark and depressing enough, the onslaught of deaths emphasized the fact that not only is everyone you love going to die, but you also have no idea when it’s going to happen. That epiphany has a great effect on the nerves. It maintains a constant level of anxiety, like an abused person flinching from a raised hand, expecting a blow.

Sometimes, you can hide it for a while. Push it down where it’s not as obvious or cover it with cushions to muffle the screaming. But it always comes back. You hear a song about loss. You watch a character die in a movie. Your grandparents talk about all the people they knew who are gone.

That’s when I really choke up. When I talk to the elderly, people have already lost their grandparents, parents, siblings, and most of their friends. Even thinking about losing my grandparents and parents is emotionally crippling to me. If I was an actress, I’d never have to worry about crying onstage. All I would have to do was picture my life after losing my family, and the tear faucet would be on.

It’s a problem. It’s a serious problem because I can’t fix the cause. It’s not something that’s going to go away or change. In fact, it’s only going to get worse the older I get. So what do I do? How do you deal with knowing that life is watching everyone you love die without getting so depressed and anxious that you ruin your own life?

My Desire to Be Well-informed Is Losing

My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

What part of this year’s election isn’t terrifying? No, don’t answer that. No matter what you say, which side you’re on, it’ll leave me wanting to curl up in the corner and cry. That’s what happens my desire to be well-informed gets the better of me. Every political update makes me feel helpless and hopeless. Add in current events around the world, and I want to build a bomb shelter. And never leave it.

Happiness is… — scatteredimpressions

So many quotes about happiness are totally useless when it comes to dealing with problems. Or even harmful (“happiness is a choice” AKA “your depression is your own fault, so decide not to be depressed anymore.”).

Now this, on the other hand, this is an idea about happiness that’s worth sharing.

via Happiness is… — scatteredimpressions

After all, part of the problem with some common varieties of unhappiness/depression is the idea that in order to be happy, we have to solve every problem in our life. That our lives have to be perfect. And that kind of mentality is half (or more) of what causes us to be unhappy in the first place. How can you allow yourself to be happy if you think that you’re failing at the things that are supposed to make you happy?

And if you think translating that sentence is hard, try untangling the strange twists and turns of your own psyche. It’s a pretty close match.

What makes this quote even better is the word ability. It’s not a talent. It’s not something you have to be born with. It’s something you can learn. That doesn’t make it easy. That doesn’t make it an on/off switch (like a decision or a choice). What it does is make being happy seem more possible. And that makes learning to deal with problems more worthwhile.

And, yeah, that’s a lot to read into 14 words. I’m probably thinking too much about it. As usual. But, hey, it’s still a good quote. And if it helps any of you, that makes it an even better quote.

Make the Day Worth Living

It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living. F. Scott Fitzgerald
I came across this and nearly cried reading it. I have no idea if F. Scott Fitzgerald actually wrote it, but it’s beautiful.

My favorite part is, “little it cost in the giving.” It costs us so little to be kind. To show another warmth or friendship. Yet that little kindness can make all the difference to the other person. Including a reason to live.

Who knew that you could save a life with a smile?