My Sex Life Is Like A Ferrari

So I stole this image from Dating Dramas of a Thirty Something. I’m sure she stole it from somewhere else, so I’m not gonna guilt about it. Because it is sadly and aggravatingly true for me, too.

My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari.
By those standards, I have a bicycle. Or a pair of walking shoes.

I want a Ferrari. I want exciting, powerful, and expensive. Ok, I can live without the expensive part, but for goodness sakes, a taste of the other two would be bloody nice. Hell, I’d settle for one of them. I don’t even know anyone with a Ferrari I can borrow.

I took that too far, didn’t I? Don’t worry. If anyone I knew had a Ferrari, they wouldn’t let anyone borrow it. Are you kidding? They might tell everyone about it and post about it on social media, but there’s no way they’d give away the secret to the rest of us. As much as people think women share, they still don’t want to give their competition a leg up.

That said, if anyone would like to prove me wrong and share said Ferrari tips, please, feel free to post in the comments. Make, model, and specs are preferred. Time share options are available. And, no, I’m not serious about that.

To be honest, while I’m open to taking tips (because why not?), I prefer to find my own Ferrari, thank you. Actually, I think you kind of have to, right? What you consider a Ferrari might be a station wagon to me. Or a freight train aimed right at where I’m tied to the tracks.

This analogy is getting disturbing. The point is that what some people consider exciting in a sex life might be boring or terrifying for others. I mean, as far as cars, a Ferrari is not as exciting to me as say an old cadillac in good condition.

I’m not sure what that does to the analogy, and I’m not gonna think too much into it. It doesn’t really matter anyway. As far as that analogy goes, I don’t have either, and I’m not too happy about it. The problem is that I don’t meet guys in my day-to-day life, and I’m not too thrilled with going on match or tinder either. Time issues aside, dating with social anxiety is crap on a stick. Being single is easier. It’s less stressful.

But it doesn’t do much for your sex life. Unless you’re into one night stands or friends with benefits. Anxiety-wise, the first one sounds awful. The second one, not so much, but getting friends who’re interested in benefits has the same problems as dating. Maybe more.

Why is getting good sex so complicated? I mean, you can buy a Ferrari.


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