Last night, my chest tried to move my alarm back 3 and a half hours. Yeah, you read that right. I was reading in bed and reached for something. The next thing I know my alarm is moved and needs saved. I know of many uses for boobs, but setting a phone wasn’t one of them.
Of course, this raises the question. You can butt dial someone. Can you boob dial someone?
Why does stuff like this make me feel better than happy, upbeat crap?
Oddly enough, these tattoos are actually making me feel better about myself.
Are you thinking about getting a tattoo but are skeptical as everyone you know keeps giving you the “you’ll regret that when you’re older” lecture? But you insist your idea is special, unique to you and you will never regret it? Well we have a list of 10 people who probably thought the same before they got their ink. We are pretty sure they now regret getting the tattoo done in the first place.
Then again, we are sure you’ll still get that tattoo anyway. Just make sure you let us know for a future tattoo fail top ten list.
Introducing top ten of the worst instantly regrettable tattoos we have come across.
At least I’m above average at something.
I’ve been looking up ways to deal with stress better, and the sites are stressing me out. Half of them have one tip per page, making you click through a ton of pages to get to any worthwhile information. A lot of them spend the first part describing bad ways to deal with stress, which is stressful when it’s stuff you do, and a couple simply wouldn’t load.
As if that wasn’t aggravating enough, they all have ads. If it’s not video ads that go off and make the website not want to load, it’s ads about losing weight or managing money – stuff people stress about. I don’t care if it’s smart marketing for them, it sucks for the people trying to reduce stress. Give us a break!
I thought I was getting better at dealing with stress. Turns out, the only reason I was doing better was because I’d avoided stressful situations for a while. Now, I’m stressing about work. I’m stressing about money. I’m stressing about my relationships with friends and family. I’m making myself sick.
My stomach feels like pure acid. My chest is tight. I’m so on edge I can barely sleep. It’s so stupid and pointless, and knowing that makes it worse. My brain can find all the logical solutions it wants, my body doesn’t believe it. I’m a mess, and I’m sick and tired of it.
Some days hopeful, positive images and sayings make me want to hit something. They make me want to scream, “Shut up.” They make me sick. When I’m at a point where all I can see is how horrible the world is, all those positive words sound like worthless crap. All I hear is, “Blah blah blah. I’m full of shit.”
I found this article about beer festivals, and I really want a drink. I wanted a drink anyway (I’m a little stressed). Now, I really, really want a drink.
One of my best friends is job hunting right now, and I do not envy her at all. Not only does filling out all the applications suck, but interviews make me horribly anxious. There’s so much pressure: dress to impress, make sure you have everything, don’t carry too many bags, don’t say anything stupid, be on time. It’s awful.
It’s like a first date. My stomach gets all tense until I think I’m going to be sick. I overanalyze everything. Am I too dressed up? Is this too sexy? Is it too unattractive? How’s my makeup? Am I too early? Am I late?
Whichever the event is, I get all wound up from question after question blasting through my head until I’m tense and on the verge of an anxiety attack. And if by some chance it goes well (AKA I don’t panic and blow it), I end up sitting by the phone, waiting to hear back. I don’t care if it’s for an interview or a new boyfriend (maybe, if he decides to call) – waiting by the phone to wait for important news is awful!
I had peas with dinner, and now this conversation keeps running through my head. Every time I see this or think of this I wonder – who eats peas with a knife? Is it even possible to eat peas with a knife? I can’t imagine the skill required. And the saddest part is that I’ve seen this in other shows or movies (they may have all been cartoons), but where did this idea come from?
Or perhaps the saddest part is that with all the big ideas wittily sewn into the conversation, I’m focused on the peas.
artless ann 